Wesword

In the spirit of you are what you eat ..... check out Breakfast!!!! MMMM :)

Its' still the Age Of Aquarius right? Is it? Or has it even started yet!?
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Age_of_Aquarius

What a crazy last couple of days for me. The unsettling. The earth just shaking. It must be the new DevilDriver.
http://www.myspace.com/devildriver
Pray for Villians.
I'm going out to buy it pretty much ..... right after I post this WesWord.
If you click on their MySpace there is a cover of a Maiden tune that I don't think is on any album.

Released .... exactly on the second anniversary of me getting clipped. July 14.

There is no new information here. Just me .... working it out again.

In a 12 month period in 2006 - 2007,
I lost my Dog, My Brother, my Business & I was nearly shot to death and died on my belly in The Hood. Fact.
Body position compass wise was head South ... Feet North.
With a broken leg and two bullet wounds I found myself ... with the aid of a passerby to safety.


http://warrenwesson.blogspot.com/2007/08/last-nite-in-hell.html
http://warrenwesson.blogspot.com/2007/08/interesting-characters.html

At the beginning of this week, for some reason .... putting on my half rotten white Nike sneakers.
The pair I was wearing the night I went out the window head first. I kept em, sure.

The few days that surround this event ... stir heavy emotion in me. Each year. So as not to overshadow all the good things happening on those days.
I keep a lid on it ...... until the time comes to revisit and think about how and if anything has changed.

This year .... there were lots of signs. In 2009 ... things could have gone either way.
I was not off to a good start. A relapse. A sign.

That hot July 14th Summer Nite .... the only thing that made it out of that place beside the clothes I was wearing, my baby brothers birth ring.
I wore around my neck until it was unfortunatly thrown out ..... two weeks ago. A sign.

I deliberatly did not mention any of this shit when asked by Giles what got you into blogging and what keeps you doing it.
I knew we would not have the time in 15 minutes.
This is not what got me into it .... but it did accelerate the journaling.
Blogging?
It has always been about journalling for me. I liked when Facebook called them notes.
It made more sense to me than blog entry.

On the first day of the third year of my second life which was.... yesterday
I was kinda shocked to see the interview that Giles did with me on his Webconomist show.
I thought someone would eventually say ....
" Hey thats the crackhead who got shot on Agricola ... whats he doing here" and delete the interview.
It was really cool for me that they did not..... and I know .... they were told that.

I totally was not sure it would run.. . . as the premise initally was Cabbie Blogger.
But that .... is not what I am.
I don't mind being called one.
I get called a lot of things in the drivers seat of The Black Witch ... and my former steed The Interceptor.

You see I'm a big reader into of things I perceive as signs.
Coincedance. DejAvu. Superstitous. After watching the video 4 times ....
....or an hour of my life listening to myself. Watching.
I could not help but do some meta math.
What does it all mean. Whats changed.
Whats changed.
Whats changed.

Two years ago .... I'm on the front page of the paper, fighting bad guys, drug addicition, criminal charges.
A subsequently humilating trial.
Today I'm on the front page of a new intenet zine talking about goddamn Hummingbirds.
Monday actually.
It was live streamed Monday and uploaded Wednesday. Today is Thursday.

So what am I gonna do? What? What fukker! What the hell are you gonna do WesWord?

I watched that interview and talked to a friend for a while .... could feel the tension in me building.
What was I getting so worked up for?
Finally I just said .... Fuck it. I have just GOT to get to work.
Shrink my head back into my car and take some fares.
Go make some money beeotch!
Its hot as hell out there. Its going to be a grinder. Do it.
Get real with it.
Fuck this note. Fuck this interview ..... basically just go fuck myself and get at it.

I'm taking the first call I get and hopefully it will be some dirtbag on crack ..... or pushing crack .....
Calling me a bitch.
Trying to kill me .... or rob me ... or both. Just to get it over with for the day.
I was kidding about the hopefully part .... but not about the rest. Every week at least once.
I ride all shifts. Not everyday. I mix it up. Keeps it interesting for me.

This is HRM. That would be the Halifax Regional Municipailty.
Formerly the cities of Halifax, Dartmouth & the towns of Bedford & Sackville and all of the former Halifax County.

Driving Taxi is one of the most challenging jobs I've ever had. The nice people make it worth it.
The scumbags can make the work unspeakable.
I would never compromise my job .... or the company I work for... by documenting the daily regime.
Someone wants to get in the back seat and turn the meter on and pay me to drive them around. Go for it.
Thats my business.
I've got too much to think about getting my fare & myself to the destination as swiftly and safely as possible.

Do we want to hear stories & see pictures of people pushed to the curb in front of Hospitals.
Treated like pariahs because they smoke cigarettes
Standing in front of Hospitals, IV and Saline Bag hanging out of their arms, allowed zero dignity.
Hospitals built with proceeds from the sale of Tobacco?! WTF!!!

Told to fuck off by intake nurses at The Hospitals for no reason at all ...
"Hey, I'm a cabbie. I just pushed this guy from his home and down a ramp, lifted him in and out of my car,
pushed him into the patient intake receiving area,
Got piss on myself .... and got handed a white piece of paper that said 10 bux on it.
You get paid 25 plus benefits whore. You fuck off!@
"Yeah I know your a cabbie .... and thats why I told you to fuck off ... "
Great.

Dozenz of vehicle accidents everyday. Traffic Jams.
People running into the street trying to get hit so they can sue the company. You think I'm kidding?

Every conceivable nightmare clusterfuck the HRM can manufacture I endure as a rider.
Its a tough job.
I see the harshest side of city life possible.
Taxidriver. Yeah .... I can handle that. I can even " get into it"
Blog it? Never.
Nice thought, if we were living in Land of Oz.

There are some very nice people ... inside the industry and outside. I love it.
Best job I ever had.
Its real for me.
Its low impact on my body which is mandatory ..... and I do love people. The good ones.
I get a great smile out of most of it. But its something you have to put your head down and just do.
Theres no "blogging about it"

Code kicks in .,.. and we keep it on the job. Where it belongs.

On this job ... everday, something or someone always reminds me how lucky I am.
Its true. I am lucky. Sometimes I think thats my real name.

My note writing is, has, and always will be ..... about Warren trying to survive himself.


Have a great day my friends and I look forward to seeing you around.
Thanks for reading ... the first issue of WesWord Vol 3

WesWord - Take two tokes and don't forget to pay the motherfuckin' Rent!

I've been working hard lately. Lots to do.
Those dead spots on the computer are not there in my shifts so I can relax a little and create some time for myself everyday. Morning. Lucky me eh.
Its called two pots of Coffee .... my favorite music. Breakfast.
A dube..... and then a couple dice roll to see if I make it to the shower and walk out the door with clean clothes on.

I know I have been coz I can feel it in my body and count it in the calories its demanding. The Sun yesterday ... although brief was a major dehydrater and UV producer. I got tanned ... in seconds.

This is that Pasta Dish I made the other night. Fucking Awesome.

I just can't seem to stop eating!
Ridiculous amounts of food being shoveled into this gas bag.
My definition of whole eating .... is eat the whole thing. Halt! I'm not complaining.
Happy to be of service to myself.
I made an omelette last night, stuffed with Ginger, Garlic, Mushrooms, Red Onions & Cheese with about a GRAAM OF THE GOOD GODDAM jammed in their too .... I slept like Thor.

My Nightmares
Trade for Nothing.


Tall Ships. Kiss .... I could go on but I'm more intererested in ......

"As The Palaces Burn" rite now. ....... certianly playing up.
I cannot wait for the new Devildriver album. I'm not alone.
I was cranking out some Wrath the other day .... for these kids going to Sackville from Mic Mac. It was one of theirs birthday. They thought it was mindblowing that I'd be playing these tunes. Certianly they made me feel like I was the only adult they have ever met in their enitre life who knew who Devildriver are. Don't forget this is "The Sack" we are talking though. Central Sack Town.

I was listening to DRI Crossover album last night.
I don't think these guys or this album should ever be dismissed as anything less than one of the most influencial bands on the music scene of the 80's.
As much .... if not more than Guns and Roses. I'm glad I got to see them.

Its almost 9. I could go to work if I wanted to. I don't. I'm not going to.
Now its almost 10 .... and I'm still not going to.

Maybe you have heard about the "Happiness Cup"? The cup you poured ... still warm when you found it what seemed like aeons since you poured it .... coz the pot you smoked was so good it made time stand still.

.... well today I discovered the "Happiness Shower and Shave"
I dread the morning shower eh. Hate it. Despite its always satisfactory outcome. Like a pussy cat afraid to get wait ... every morning, same thing....
I flinch under that first spouting from the shower nozzle. " OUCH!"

Today after I'd gotten myself all pysched for it ... went to the bathroom and looked in the mirror to see how bad it and was like
"Wow....Jeezus, I've already done this not an hour ago!"
More time to play!!!!

I got to speak with my 11 year old for a long time this morning.
Empowering to say the least. What an Angel.
"Daddy did you get your new computer yet?" She said.
"Yes"
Instantly an invite to Bandoo. We swapped almost everyone they had.
Feather knew I would not load it on someone elses computer ..... the last time we spoke online she had asked me to, I was using my friend Manhattans .... and I thought better of fucking with someone elses MSN.
These things say no spy ware .... but what they mean is .... no spy ware you will notice..... because we've simply taken over your MSN.
I told her that ... and she said at the time "Ok Dad ... wait until you get your own"


Happy Birthday Dan!!!! Happy Goddamn Motherfuckain Birthday Beotch!!!! ;)

A brand new week ... a new take

Honestly .... for the first years it never occurred to me that anyone would ever read this blog. Ever.
Obviously .... things have changed a bit ..... and people are actually reading this blog.

I like to write. It helps me stay focused ... it helps me defocus. It just helps me.

I started using this type of space to "store" my work .... as I have a penchant for smashing the shit out of stuff sometimes and computers are no exception.
Lost a lot of work.
Hard to recover off a drive thats been run over by an 18 wheeler passing by.
Hard ... not impossible.


I got a shot in the arm today from an old friend who invited me into the studio for
haligonia.ca, a new local internet publication. All very interesting.
I did the interview ... despite hating doing anything on camera that is unrehearsed ... and obviously not going to be edited .... thats why I like writing so much. Lots of control.

Chances are if you read it ... I meant to say it. And how you perceived it ... I've taken the time to give anybody a chance as a reader to perceive it the way I meant it.
I can't do that live in front of a camera. Can't go back and say ... well that was not what I meant at all. Its SUCKS! I hate it, BUT ..... I do love writing very much ... and in fact I enjoy being read .... so I took the interview.

You will be able to see it here at www.haligonia.ca at some point later today. It was streamed out live ... they'll upload it for posterity sake soonish.
It was a lot of fun though ... I know I said I hated it .... but only the time contraints ... and the one shot at getting what you meant to say right. I hate that part. Loved being interviewed by haligonia.ca

I think at first the idea was we'll get this Cab Driver in and talk to him about what blogging from the front seat of a cab was all about. I probably dissapointed them when I made it clear that .... telling the truth from the front seat of a cab .... could get you fired or killed.... and aint likely to happen. However ... there are things I see ... and relate ... while on the job ..... and can, like & will talk about. But for the most part I blog my shit from the Cab no different than from my Bike or the Bus .... or my Captian Kirk Computer Chair.
I like the Bus..... the best.


The birds in my backyard were singing " Stay home Betty, stay home ... its too hot and muggy to fly around"
...... and all I could think of is I wish my life cycle allowed me the ability to think like that. I'm with the people. We need to pay rent all year round!
Like a dog wishing he had thumbs.

I could sit here and type away for hours.... but not gonna do it just now.
Off to try and make a bit of Cheddar.

I'm hoping the best for you. Thanks for reading.

..... don't flatter yourself.

Anger almost destroyed me.

Well .... it did destroy me. It just didnt kill me.
Close though.

I see right through you.

I'm so happy to be here today. Alone.

I would hope the same for you.

I finally got the message in rehab ... that we can change all we want. Try as hard as we want. Actually persevere and accomplish .... all we want.

The world that made us the way that we are will always be there.
assholes will always be assholes.
phonies will always be phonies.
the failures of past generations stain forever in my mind.


Then I remembered that I already knew this. . . and stopped thinking about it.,

Changed the Channel.

It doesn't matter anymore

I should have caught the play when .... it did not seem to matter to you that my television was important to me, and your assigned job, of watching the cords to make sure they did not become entangled, you were neglect in your duty .... subsequently costing me my TV. That should have been it right there.

......

How it got to, letting you throw out the most sentimental item in my possession, is beyond me ... but It happened. Somehow I managed to let you throw away my baby brothers birth ring. Something that had been in the family for 36 years.
My little family.
On my person....... for the last two.

I already knew this from our very first converstaion.
It was OK with you If I smoked cracked.
You paid for it. You loved me when I was on it.
Predictable.
I should have known better. The addict had designs right away. The addict in me.
What a thing to do to someone struggling with an addiction. An expensive one.

The time you said to me
" Its OK with me if you want to smoke crack you know. I'll even pay for it.
Just don't hide it from me"
I was clean.
You were not however. I did not know this. I was a rube.
I thought a few percocets if you got your hands on them.
How was I to know about the peanut butter jar of Vicodin.

I know that opiates are a much harder substance to do without for the person addicted than Crack is for the persoin addicted to that.

I punished you for your arrogance. It's that simple. As much as I could anyway.

That is how you hurt me .... and there is no way you could ever pay me back.

Pure Poetry ( Dedicated to Michael Wesson)

What you meant to me...is more than I can put in words and in this email. Being married and falling for you was something that I did not anticipate would hurt you when the 'end' drew near. But you and I will never 'end' in my heart and I will always been thinking of you, loving you, and wishing you happiness....whether near of from afar.


I wish I could have done better by you, too. I wish I could still be there with you and live my life with you. Part of me is hoping that someday I can come back to you but I feel guilty for saying that as well. I promised another man my heart, mind, and soul. I gave it to you as well. I have not taken it back....this is all I want you to know.

I remember the time in Staples when we were hugging and you were saying that you were not worried when I left because we could still stay connected and that only the young and immature would think it would be over...but that it does not have to be.


I saw your latest wesword...My Husband and I were checking out your profile. I saw that you wrote about a female intervention that was nice at first and then tried to kill you". I don't know what you mean by this. I don't know what you have been telling steve and misty and it all really hurts like hell...but I get that you are bitter with me. I see you don't want to add me as a friend on facebook again and perhaps you are thinking you want to break ties with me completely. I wish I could make whatever pain that stirred in the past few days on both our ends go away but I can't. All I know is that you are an important person in my life, I tried my best with you (to love and honor you tho sometimes I did make mistakes), and I love you and always will. I never tried to 'kill' you.

Thursday is Monday and today is all the matters.

Summers started. The dream I've been living this Spring ... revealed itself to me as a nightmare.

I was doing super well ...coping with my usual ... slip ... fall down ... get back up ... wipe the blood from my mouth .. nose and eyes.

It was different this time.
There was a woman involved.
An educated ... attractive woman. Accomplished to say the least. A published essayist for two Universities.
I figured out after the fact that means something different in the United States.
Yes .. the woman is an American.
She like to do drugs and fight ... but you would never know it to look at her.
Lying is a way of life for her.

Nearly killed me.
I'm not sure she is totally out of my life yet. We've all seen Fatal Atraction yes?
Hopefully she'll let it go.... before I'm forced to release " the video "

I lost a lot this month...... the most important thing .....

My brother and I lost about a years worth of relationship building in a single conversation. I suppose one just gets tired of defending themselves. Both past and present.

I was fighting battles on several fronts ... and unfortunatly he presented himself as one...... unfortunate. I miss him.

My week starts today. Thursday is my Monday.

I've been to see the Doctor. My friends have been helping through this. Its' been really hard.

I've learned to live on peoples " dead to me" list although I have not been able to do the same ... as in write people off I love.


I'm trying to write this screenplay. I'm looking forward to registering for school soon.

The underlying current runs deep and dark
Emotionless and stark.
Envy ...... Petty ........ and not using any foresight.
I can see what is in store for you.
I'll be waiting with no " I told you sos'"

Saturday

"So ... we're doing it right?"
"Definatly"

Thursday Nite ....... the big nite before the big day.

The Bridge

"How can you beleive so strongly in the written word.? I do not understand?"
"my son ... they want to beleive"

What gives anybody the right, to judge another.
Godless lizards.

Everyone likes a Frank Castle until they meet one in real life.

"These are the things I think about!."
I thinks about on the bus.
The very back of the bus. Stoned out of my fucking mind.
The same bus I've been taking since I moved to this town ....nearly thirty years ago.

Once last bag. Once more for The Gipper
A set of shifts to get it done. Payback time Motherfuckahs.
He's never loved a goddamn thing in his life until it was gone.
Until right fucking now.

So if you think he's lived this long ... come this far
.... to be undone with good intentions.
Coz' me and this little lady here. We're getting it the fuck on.

Same as you.
Same as you.

Turn your fucking IPOD down punk.
There are other people on this bus.
Listening to his stupid current hiss emanating from the sponge covered fukholes from the side his head.

That is the game, but despite the games best efforts, can only amount to be part of the story. Not the story.

Survival of the Seed.
Natures Order.
Protect the Bloodlines
Protect the Story.

Suddenly we know what he is going through. Some will think its funny. Others will not.